I thought I would give it a shot. I thought I would try to recapture family that had been lost to me for a long time. I thought I would not hold back and try to be a part. Even though I did not know most of them,,,I loved them because are family.
I was wrong to try. I moved away for the very reasons that were so dreadfully evident tonight. No one can self-righteously cut out your heart like family can. (not my heart, i am a tough ol bird, but another heart that I love greatly). There is no sitting down to discuss it, there is no desire to make it right, there is no love that transcends all wounds, only the desire to decimate the character of others.
And this is family? No, I think not.
Even the Christlike love we are to pattern ourselves after came under attack as folly and foolishness.
Maybe it is for the best that I remember most of my siblings as the youngsters I helped raise and leave it at that. There is still my bff and my next-in-line bf and I cherish the friendship and sistership.
I should have left it alone and trusted my instincts but I didn't and I am sorry for the loss,,,,,
they did not realize i was missing before,,, they will not realize it now...
but I still love them....they are family.
I was wrong to try. I moved away for the very reasons that were so dreadfully evident tonight. No one can self-righteously cut out your heart like family can. (not my heart, i am a tough ol bird, but another heart that I love greatly). There is no sitting down to discuss it, there is no desire to make it right, there is no love that transcends all wounds, only the desire to decimate the character of others.
And this is family? No, I think not.
Even the Christlike love we are to pattern ourselves after came under attack as folly and foolishness.
Maybe it is for the best that I remember most of my siblings as the youngsters I helped raise and leave it at that. There is still my bff and my next-in-line bf and I cherish the friendship and sistership.
I should have left it alone and trusted my instincts but I didn't and I am sorry for the loss,,,,,
they did not realize i was missing before,,, they will not realize it now...
but I still love them....they are family.
I love the dance. Who cares what other people think. I tend to always have a song in my heart and will frequently break out in ballet or a funky-chicken-wildjuan sort of jig without any sort of reason. I am so thankful for the redeeming love and the joy of Christ that I have experienced. Except for the odd occasion when the weight of the world weighs me down, I am free to run, I am free to dance. . . I am free
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