Mr B's Graduation (written 7-11-08)

Last night Brent received his high school dipoloma.....and that is basically where my mind and my emotions stop for the time being.  He is the "baby" of the family so there is of course a roller coaster of emotions that go along with that.  I do not anticipate well, I do not like to plan big events and wait with excitement until they come to pass.  I pretty much live in the moment (sometimes to my own undoing) and the couple of weeks leading up to Mr. B turning 18 and then graduating been very emotionally charged.  Last night, the event was finally upon us and I was fine, no more anticipating, in fact, the only tears came at the end when he hugged me for a long time and said "thank-you", nothing more, nothing less but he could not have said anything that would have touched my heart more.
I am so ready for him to go and experience life, he is headstrong, independent and sure he knows it all, (hey, that sounds just like his dad and me) but I will so miss my "little buddy" who has been our life.  Tracy and I look forward to our alone time as friends which is something we have not had an abundance of in 24 years, but at the same time we feel a sense of loss that we are now a duet instead of a trio.  I don;t really believe that we will have to worry about going thru the "empty nest syndrome" or about being lonely as 6 grandchildren live 2 doors down and 3 more are a mile away and there are 6 or 7 more in Nebraska so there will never be lot of down time, and they have come back to live with us a time or two.
I see his coming of age and graduation as a circle;
 miss him already,
 can I help him pack?,
miss him like crazy,
knock out the wall in his room and enlarge our bedroom,
wonder if he is alright...............................
go ahead and spread your wings and fly little buddy, you know we believe in you.